Sunday, February 28, 2010

Ugh...could you stop whining please

Okay, I'll admit, there have been worse days but I wasn't blogging then. Today DS was so unnecessarily (not so according to my training) whiny. After a while I just threatened him with removal from the environment if he didn't stop. Actually I said, "I will leave you in the car so that we can have some peace and quiet for five minutes or you can stop NOW. Thank God he chose to stop. I really didn't want to have to follow through on that. Was that so bad of a threat? I mean really should we be subjected to ear screeching whining that he does when he just wants you to look at him (even though you can't cuz you're driving). I mean really folks I have to stand my ground sometimes or he'll just go on and on. Won't he. Ugh I get so confused somtimes about how to be a good parent.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Creative play feeds to the soul of young and oldBu

Built an airport with DS today and created lifts, pulleys, tunnels and numerous other things from cardboard tubes, wooden blocks, old baby food containers, yarn and miscellaneous other materials. It was quite fun and so great to not have to spend time redirecting or getting on DS for doing something inappropriate or hurtful. He was in a state of bliss which of course made me blissful as well. I wish we could spend all our days in creative process. I know he craves this especially the scientific exploration that has been consuming him lately. He later found a cardboard box and wanted to make it into all sorts of things unfortunately we didn't have time to get into it but hopefully we'll have a project their tomorrow.
In the evening we went out as a family to see this African drumming and singing ensemble. Oh my, the dancing that came out of DS's body. It was inspiring. The freedom, the abandon, the joy of movement and expression. It will definitely be something we do again. I have to remember to include the arts daily in his life. I think I do a pretty good job but I'd like to get more conscience about it.

Friday, February 26, 2010

The Scientist in the Bathtub

So earlier this afternoon I would have titled this entry, "I'm turning my son into a liar." Let me explain. Lately he has been very experimental with things. Any object he finds he creates something new or figures out different uses for it. He was recently gifted a stroller for his half birthday and the experimenter instinct was lit. He decided to sit in it and it broke. Then he decided to pull the rubber handle off, "Mama, will this float in the bathtub?" All I could so with both incidents was how he was destroying his toys that I paid hard earned money for. My response, "I will not be buying you any new toys anytime soon until you learn how to take care of them." What kind of response is that to a scientist who is simply following his curious nature and interest in how things work. I'll end up creating a child who will be afraid to tell me that he broke something for fear of being punished and/or having something taken away. I am so glad to had some time to myself this evening to reflect on my behavior which allowed me to see how wrong and unsupportive my response was. This evening ended on a positive note. I repaired the stroller and the scientist was once again ready to explore. This time I took myself/ego out of it and just observed enjoying the discovery.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A Hard Day

Today DS had to stay home from school. Now should be a wonderful thing but in our unfortunate case it verges on possible nightmare experience. Since I run my little school from home and have 7 other charges having my son in community is no easy thing. Even when he was age-eligible for my program I couldn't have him here. It just about drove me nuts so days like these are sooooo difficult.
I guess I should focus on the most important aspect of the today. It was DS's half birthday and most things went well. I'll recap with a photo diary.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The first bite

Someone bit my baby today. It is that moment that makes you shutter and calls up the lioness within to strike out against anyone who dare lay a hand on my young, innocent cub but of course, I look into the eyes of another young innocent cub and know that it is part of the laws of nature. Life goes on. I know in this moment that I cannot protect her from everything. That knowledge provides me little comfort. It actually creates bigger fears for all the things that await her that serve to harm her. I know I should not stay in this dwelling place for there is good in the world but this is the part of me that has been so well nurtured by my own worrisome father. What lies waiting. Ugh!!!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Social Skills

One day I hope my DS develops them. Sometimes he can be such a little turd. Today while walking with a neighbor and her 2 young children he kept invading the younger child's space whom he was sharing a wagon with (fix sent. later). He spit his water at the neighbor and then later poured some down her pants. Where does he get this obnoxious behavior. Once at home he proceeds to lose his mind over me not serving him yogurt (which he had slammed on the table causing some to spray out and then spat on). I swear sometimes he is unbelievable. Then he changes a 180 and is so sweet, ugh!!!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Searching for that perfect service time

I want to go to church. I like community. I need community. I want to feel connected with other people. I do think that is part of what life is all about. Connecting with other people. I want my children to feel a sense of community. There are so many opportunities of course there is family, school and then perhaps church. It was GREAT to get us all off to church this morning. The service time seemed to work perfectly for the whole family. Sadly, the service is so geared toward adults and there is no music. It's the music that makes the adult service more palatable for the children so even though the time frame was perfect and the day felt so full there was something missing. It's this SOMETHING that makes me do self-examination and begs me to ask the question WHY do I go to church at all. Oh yeah community.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Organizing my way through

I hope all the organizing I to apply to my life doesn't drive my DS and DD or DH crazy. I try to keep it to myself as much as possible and create this flow of daily life but it doesn't always work that way because I am constantly just a little under-organized so things are less then seamless and ultimately create a mom and wife than can be a little overbearing. Ugh!!!

Friday, February 19, 2010


“Krishna insisted on outer cleanliness and inner cleansing. Clean clothes and clean minds are an ideal combination.”Sri Sathya Sai Baba quotes (Indian Spiritual leader, b.1926)

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Holding Space

Blogging into the night my baby calls
I answer

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Lenten Season begins

How do I go on this journey of lent with my young charges

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Living in Potential

Today I realized that for almost my whole life I have not been living up to my full potential.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day

It's been so long since I've posted. It seems after we got back from Louisiana everyone got sick. It just kind of staggered out finally culminating with me (yikes) yes, I got the crud (sp?) Not too bad but I had a painful day and a half. Thank god for Ibuprofen. Well, it's Valentine's Day and once again I feel I've fallen short of my goals for the celebration of this holiday with my ninos and my husband. It feels rushed and thrown together and I have some projects that will have to stay tuned till next year or some time this year depending. I am proud of the piggy banks and I think teaching the value of saving money is a true lesson in love. If it had been taught more clearly and straightforward to me I might be in such a different place right now. It's Valentine's Day and I have had so many moments of sadness because my son loves to hit me and tell me he doesn't like me and I have to remind my husband (often sometimes it seems) of cleaning or parenting tasks thus constantly leaving me seeming like the bad guy AND i've been running around with DD like a sack of potatoes totally overstimulating her and not giving her the thoughtful attention she deserves. She's even begun to yell at me in frustration. I know she needs more of me. This is why sometimes I wish I didn't have to work at all. I wish I could be the domestic diva and the mama/wife role not the business owner, mama/wife, domestic diva it really is too much I can't even think sometimes. So that is why I feel a little said on this day of love. I am working and this card my husband bought lays just below my fingertips but I dare not open it because I didn't make him a card (I try not to buy). I think I still aim at trying to put something down on paper for him. Lord knows I've had a gizzillion thoughts running through my mind some of them good, some of them not so good, some of them loving, some of them not so loving. Today I really truly feel like inventing a new me. Stronger, smarter, kinder and more well rested.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Getting back into Routine

Out of town for three days on the road more than actually in the place where we traveled. Was it worth it? I think so. The children seem okay. I'm having trouble getting back into routine. I did have to deal a little with the consequences of travel. My DS is addicted to the toys that come with a Happy Meal from McDonalds but I guess the upside is that he does not seem to be addicted to the food (yay!!!!). Also DS was exposed to way more television than I care to think about. It's sad really how the television stay on in the homes of so many of my relatives. Can someone please read a book or play a board game? I decided not to fight it as long as the programming wasn't violent or too outrageous but wow, there is a lot of violent and outrageous CRAP on television. I'm glad I am able to tell DS once we're home that NO we will not be going to McDonald's everyday that was SPECIAL and so far he has not asked that the television be turned on. I guess he gets that we don't do that here except for when DH wants to watch football :(.