Good day gone bad gone good

A good day at the park turns into a go to bed early time for my sign turns into a time to unwind and refocus time

Alls well that ends well

Mama makes a not so good decision

This morning I was supposed to observe DS in his class but it didn't happen bc of confusion and upset. ...

Face painting!

Probably my son's first foray into to face painting should have been so dramatic. today he got his whole face painted alay his favorite superhero ; - ) spiderman. It was awesome but admittedly a bit much for the first time. We already knew that it was going to be major even g by discussing that he would have to wash his face before going to bed. Step back!!! Well on the way home he fell asleep (long drive) and just as we pulled up BIG wake up smear. So sad! He saw the paint on his hands and just lost it. So sad! He didn't want to have anything to do with anyone. I tried to tell him it wasn't bed then he proceeds to smear the paint more further upsetting himself. Okay, let's wash your hands oh no! more melt down he loses it!
I am trying to be empathetic but he is becoming loud and annoying. (Yes, I said it). Okay mama breath. This is pretty crushing! I totally empathize that he is pretty heartbroken.
I get a basin of warm water and join him outside (where I had pplaced him when the volume became too much). Slowly I approach and he let's me get closer. I begin to wipe and the makeup easily comes off. I feel his disappointment. He wanted to wear this all day. After 15 minutes he recovers. So glad DH took pictures!
Note to self: Next time when he go to a festival we will get his face painted sooner than later so he has longer to enjoy it. This time we waited so long by the time he was done it was time to go not much time to run around and be wild in his spidey look!!! (So much to learn).

Discovering water...

DD is getting around today it was so exciting how she concentrated so intently as the water poured into the basin. The smile of sheer delight with her discovery was a treasure to behold!

My DS and Michael Jackson

My son is obsessed with Michael Jackson.

A dd milestone on my birthday...

Baby girl is growing and changing so much. I swear that girl fills my heart up with so much love. She is simply a sweetheart. I digress.

The big news is that she stood today independent of holding on to anything for about 5 seconds. It was absolutely wonderful and amazing to watch.

Another good day gone bad

Ds can be as wonderful and sweet as he can be a pain in the X%$.

Why do they behave so differently around other people.

Grandparents, friends sometimes it's like I have another child...

The worst playdate ever

My ds is borderline playdate material. At any point he can become violent, unpredicatable and difficult to manage (is some of what I just said redundant?) He was trying to force a friend into playing "Michael Jackson (whom he is obsessed with)." It was horrible.

Hitting, kicking and yelling oh my!...

My son gets so wound up omg...

A light day with DS

Say happy to say it was a light day with DS lots of hugs, laughter, silliness and my favorite, "I love yous."

Visiting Relatives

Happy EAster

DS is out of control

Or mama is just clueless.

Not sure what to do sometimes.

The hitting

The back talk

The whining

The demands

Music class and naming things

Music class with DD is going to be so good. She loves to move her body and seems so joyfilled around music in general. I love this special time the two of us will be able to share.

I learned something great from DS teacher. "Words do not have meaning until we give them meaning." This is powerful information in my understanding of how to better communicate with him. Today was filled with more challenging behaviors but I believe they were all handled so much better because of this new incite.

The back talk is out of control

I so lost my patience with DS today. He can be so disrespectful but I just read most of this article on power struggles and I feel once again like I'm handling him/the situation all wrong.

Boys are made of...

What's that poems that pops into my head everytime I think of selling DS to the zoo. There really is something so different about boys and girls.

What are Little Boys and Girls made of poem:

What are little boys made of?

Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails

That's what little boys are made of !"

What are little girls made of?

"Sugar and spice and all things nice

That's what little girls are made of!"

Today DS had a playdate with one of his oldest friends and they were both spinning out of control.

Should there be a time limit for eating

My son can milk a meal (no pun intended).

The Payoff

Parent Conferences

Afterschool programs

I'm a believer in not overscheduling children. Heck, our lives are busy enough and what's the rush. All this do, do, do.

Today, I did take advantage of a free music program. Which I'm really interested in for DD not so much DS and just as I suspected DS was not really that into it. I think he likes the idea of it but truly at the end of the day he just wants to be in his own rhythm and play in his house or with a friend or outside whatever but PLAY is the operative word here. I have to remember that he is not suffering if he is not in music, dance, swim or whatever lessons everyday afterschool. There will be room and time for those things.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Prerequisite for a new neighborhood

Must have park in reasonable walking and/or biking distance.

Today we went to the newly remodeled playscape/park in our neighborhood. It is actually for the residents of the newer neighborhood next to our old ghettoized neighborhood but we won't tell. I love the changes and the addition of an area for swings. Smart and much needed. I think we'll have fun there.

Ds survived his playdate with his longtime pal. I am determined to help him be a good friend even if they don't teach him anything at school.

He really is a sweet boy.

Playing war games

REALLY people do a young family a favor and keep your wargames confined to your own backyard.

I couldn't believe when we arrived at the park today and someone was hosting a wargames birthday party for their maybe 10 year old child and his friends. The gang (and I use that term loosely were loaded with pretend guns of various sizes and capabilities (shooting water, darts, etc.) and swords. Just what my ds needs. He was both fascinated and freaked out. What is a parent to do to explain the fine line of their combat play.

Color me pissed off.

How to be a good friend

Apparently this is not a lesson my ds has been learning at school. Once again I have added another person to the list that doesn't care for him because of his penchant for hitting.

School

DS doesn't want to go to school and I don't blame him. It is hard to leave good family fun times and his teacher just doesn't seem that warm. It's been a little hard to admit that I don't know if CMS is working out for DS.

Out of town with the family

What's in a job?

Family Day

Family days are necessary. Family days are good. Family days are renewing. Today DH,DS,DD and I spent the day together starting off the morning with delicious breakfast prepared by DH and then quickly and at times frantically preparing to get out the door for an impromptu trip to the zoo. It was great fun had by all and even DD rose above her sleepiness to have fun. We are trying hard to get back on schedule with this new time change. The Spring ahead time change is really hard.

After missing afternoon nap (brief siesta in the car had by all but me) we decided to take advantage of the music festival taking and check out free music downtown which also created an opportunity for mama T to have hang time with an old friend who happened to be in town.

'Twas a good day.

Road trips with young children

What time of day should one plan to leave their house?

I've tried various scenarios:

• leaving at night (their bedtime)
• leaving in the morning (try to catch DD's first nap)
• leaving in time to catch the midday nap for both

They have all had their pros and cons but none have been without their flaws which for me is the inevitable tantrum that results from sitting too long in the car.

It's hard I empathize.

I'm still working on ideas to make them more child-friendly. Prayerfully our family has a lot of wonderfully exciting travel adventure family vacations via road, air, boat, etc. to look forward to.

Sleep

The art of having both your children asleep at the same time is truly an artform or a miracle. Yesterday I was lucky enough for DD's second nap and DS's only nap of the day to coincide mind you it was a little late for the both of them and I had to deal with the overtired tantrum fall out but eventually and within minutes of each other they were both asleep. These moments are golden. I wanted to take a victory lap around the house.
Today, I was thankful to have DF step in and take DD while I went to work on DS who was showing a little resistance for his much needed napping. Unfortunately but fortunately I fell asleep in the process. But, I think my falling asleep created the opportunity for DD to fall asleep in the arms of DF, not sure yet how the whole thing came about bc DF is asleep but I am so greatful for the moment.
Aaaahhh, me-thinks I hear the baby calling now....

Sick babies...

We had such a great day that seemed to work out so well for everyone. I am always so happy to when DD and DS have complimentary sleep awake times that allow for them to get what they need and enjoy their time. Today was one of those days. We have traveled many miles (many hours) to see a DF and her DS (one of the reasons I did NOT blog last night). After a wonderful breakfast and indoor play (DD napped ) we went to the park and enjoyed a beautiful day of out door play. I love this time of year. I want to be outside all the time. Sadly after we returned home and napped (EVERYONE!!!) DS wokeup rather cranky and the mood never subsided. Fortunately, mother-instinct kicked in and I checked his temp. CRAP he had a fever of 101.5 and so sad cuz it means immediate quarantine. Fortunately it's close enough to bedtime that it doesn't put to big of a damper on the evening. After some Motrin and a bath he had his appetite back and seemed to be doing better. I hope this continues and that the fever was just an allergic reaction (is that possible???). He want to bed well and I pray that this is doing well over the evening. Love my babies.

Oops missed another day, rats!

I've been so exhausted lately that I can't keep a clear thought in my mind. I thought I blogged yesterday but alas no.

Well, my mama thoughts today center around oh what should I choose there is so much going on right now: DD trying to pull-up on everything in sight, making her a walking bar to aid these, realizing I need to get on the ball with teaching her how to drink from a glass, need to get her push wagons ready so she can start walking with them (DS use to love that) and more frequently figuring out how to feed her less store bought baby food and more family based meals. We will all be eating healthier for sure.

On the DS front I am disappointed conferences were cancelled. I am so eager to find out how DS is adjusting based on his guides opinion. Sometimes he doesn't seem bonded to the community and that can be a good thing if I decide yet again to pull him out but, it would only be for a very good reason. Speaking of DS, could he just whine a little more and a little louder. Is this being 3? I've hard it can be hard if not harder than two so far it is proving to be true although I've rarely known an easy-going day with Akello. I've really got to let him know almost all the time that I see him and my goodness arranging playdates is almost a must.

We three are heading out of town tomorrow. Not sure I'll be able to blog so, guess we'll see. I'll bring the laptop for sure.

Birthday Parties

Threatsw a

I do not like giving DS threats for his misbehavior choices.  But sometimes I have to draw  line in the sand and say thems the rules or else.  It can ct

Soooo tired can't go on.

Church Behavior

Birthday parties

Today we had 2 birthday parties to attend and thankfully that were at opposite times. DS and I went to a birthday party at a park outdoors, my kind of party. I am so over these Gymboree, bouncy house type places for parties don't get me wrong I like them I just see them as becoming the norm and I love the smell of outdoors and I want my child to have lots of contact with the elements while he is young. It is too easy to find reasons to be inside. Even if it is active inside there is something still artificial about it.

The second party was a home outdoor (mostly) party. This is my other favorite kind of birthday party. Both were enjoyable and DS was fulfilled he even let go for a while of what presents he was going to get for HIS birthday (he's obsessed).

Being silly

It's so important to be silly with your child. I remembered that tonight and then realized how often I forget to just be playful and silly with DS. Laughter is good.

What do you do when a pet dies?...

We've had Bob, our Beta fish about 3 years. Ahhh, dear sweet Bob. Sometimes he was just an accessory to the environment. "I think he'll look nice over there next to the red wall. It's ill set off the red in his scales." Sometimes he was an afterthought, "Did you feed Bob today?" But often he was a beloved pet, member of the family and fixture of Mama school part of what the children counted on being part of there everyday life at MITN. I knew he wouldn't be around forever. He had been looking sickly for a while especially during the colder, wintry days. I had googled more information about Betas and had my eyes open on many levels. It seems part of our neglect may have been temp related. I think there were many times the temp feel below 70 degrees fahrenheit which is less than ideal for a beta fish but more so it was life span. There are of course a range of numbers but it seemed that the possibility that Bob was reaching his natural span of fish life and that his days would soon end. Another factor in Bob's demise was the much younger group enrolled at Mama school. The children loved to visit his little tank but often tapped a little too hard on the walls thus putting Bob in distress on those 3 mornings a week. Also a few times in recent days I caught one of the children with the watering can which is supposed to be used on plants looking like that wanted to water or HAD watered Bob's tank. It is very possible that Bob was murdered (unintentionally mind you) but the shock of the tap water mixed with his water ugh!!!! poor Bob. He was a good fish.

Well, after noticing little movement today I realized his time had come. First though, how to tell DS who would often join DH is the care and feeding of Bob. It happened simply this evening. Daddy took charge. I was not present to witness how it happened I just returned inside from putting a load in the washer and DS says, "Bob is dead." He said it matter of fact. He seemed okay just reporting information to me and proceeded to tell me that he and daddy were going to flush him down the toilet. I joined the procession. "Do you want to say a prayer?" I asked thinking there needed to be a sense of finality to the events. "People often say a prayer when a pet dies." He let me do the honors and then chose to say "Amen." As we watched Bob disappear into the toilet it was a very intense and final moment and I felt sad to see him go. Suddenly, DS burst into tears. He was really feeling this. "I want to go back to school." Which seemed to say I want this day to start over when Bob was alive. We both consoled him and steadily recovered but I do believe this moment will definitely imprint in his mind. He did say he wanted another pet, "A snake." This was before the tears. We ended the evening on an up note. Playing floor paddle ball. It was REALLY fun. I wonder what he'll have to say about Bob tomorrow as his usual space is left empty. DH mentioning printing a picture of BOB and putting it on the family wall. We will definitely have to buy a nice frame.

Working mom strikes back

Okay, today was hard. It has been such a challenging doing my little at home casita. For one, I feel like I work ALL THE TIME! Laundry every night, constantly cleaning and straightening up, planning and preparation seems never ending. So taking on the school today, pretty much by myself although thankgod grandma came to be with DD was mind and body blowing. I continually recited the Serenity prayer while working and I keep thinking/daydreaming about all the other jobs I could have besides this one that has me currently feeling like I'm in HELL! One of my students seemed to cry non-stop, someone broke a borrowed material, there was pee on the flower. I guess I should consider myself lucky that there was no poop, blood, vomit or anything else.

Finally after the school morning was over and the cleaning was done I picked up DS and took him to pick up a good friend for a playdate. Ay Caramba the wills of those two boys. They do challenge each other.

So much going on

DD on the move. Trying to make her way through this young life. She's really challenging herself to see what she is capable of and she is getting stronger everyday. Her eating wow! She's good such a good appetite. I am working hard to keep it healthy and balanced. So wish she had a weaning chair and table. It's those expenses of raising a Montessori Child that challenge me. I have to compromise based on my income bracket and unfortunately DH nor I have time to make one.

DS what isn't he into. I am so over his materialism. Is that what you call it? He wants EVERYTHING. Drives me nut. "For my birthday, can I have...." His list just gets longer and longer but basically he wants everything. How did that happen. Do we deny him too much? Not sure what to do about it but dare I ask his teacher she rarely responds to my emails. That really bugs me. God I hope she's a good fit for DS. He doesn't seem attached to the school at all. Pretty bummed about that.

How do you win

When other people's parenting/non-parenting style infiltrate your efforts to raise your child/children in the best way possible how do you succeed.

I received this invitation with a child wearing a costume of a night and holding a sword. How do I discourage my violence intrigued, bad-guy curious, action packed 3 year-old boy not to be interested in such things when some parents are so careless with what they allow their children to partake of. Really now, is the sword necessary and not just a plastic sword a sword complete with what looks like a spiky brass knuckle handle for an extra something in the ass-wompin'. All I can say is I am glad we missed that birthday party.

What are people thinking? Really????

Ugh...could you stop whining please

Okay, I'll admit, there have been worse days but I wasn't blogging then. Today DS was so unnecessarily (not so according to my training) whiny. After a while I just threatened him with removal from the environment if he didn't stop. Actually I said, "I will leave you in the car so that we can have some peace and quiet for five minutes or you can stop NOW. Thank God he chose to stop. I really didn't want to have to follow through on that. Was that so bad of a threat? I mean really should we be subjected to ear screeching whining that he does when he just wants you to look at him (even though you can't cuz you're driving). I mean really folks I have to stand my ground sometimes or he'll just go on and on. Won't he. Ugh I get so confused somtimes about how to be a good parent.

Creative play feeds to the soul of young and oldBu

Built an airport with DS today and created lifts, pulleys, tunnels and numerous other things from cardboard tubes, wooden blocks, old baby food containers, yarn and miscellaneous other materials. It was quite fun and so great to not have to spend time redirecting or getting on DS for doing something inappropriate or hurtful. He was in a state of bliss which of course made me blissful as well. I wish we could spend all our days in creative process. I know he craves this especially the scientific exploration that has been consuming him lately. He later found a cardboard box and wanted to make it into all sorts of things unfortunately we didn't have time to get into it but hopefully we'll have a project their tomorrow.

In the evening we went out as a family to see this African drumming and singing ensemble. Oh my, the dancing that came out of DS's body. It was inspiring. The freedom, the abandon, the joy of movement and expression. It will definitely be something we do again. I have to remember to include the arts daily in his life. I think I do a pretty good job but I'd like to get more conscience about it.

The Scientist in the Bathtub

So earlier this afternoon I would have titled this entry, "I'm turning my son into a liar." Let me explain. Lately he has been very experimental with things. Any object he finds he creates something new or figures out different uses for it. He was recently gifted a stroller for his half birthday and the experimenter instinct was lit. He decided to sit in it and it broke. Then he decided to pull the rubber handle off, "Mama, will this float in the bathtub?" All I could so with both incidents was how he was destroying his toys that I paid hard earned money for. My response, "I will not be buying you any new toys anytime soon until you learn how to take care of them." What kind of response is that to a scientist who is simply following his curious nature and interest in how things work. I'll end up creating a child who will be afraid to tell me that he broke something for fear of being punished and/or having something taken away. I am so glad to had some time to myself this evening to reflect on my behavior which allowed me to see how wrong and unsupportive my response was. This evening ended on a positive note. I repaired the stroller and the scientist was once again ready to explore. This time I took myself/ego out of it and just observed enjoying the discovery.

A Hard Day

Today DS had to stay home from school. Now should be a wonderful thing but in our unfortunate case it verges on possible nightmare experience. Since I run my little school from home and have 7 other charges having my son in community is no easy thing. Even when he was age-eligible for my program I couldn't have him here. It just about drove me nuts so days like these are sooooo difficult.

I guess I should focus on the most important aspect of the today. It was DS's half birthday and most things went well. I'll recap with a photo diary.

The first bite

Someone bit my baby today. It is that moment that makes you shutter and calls up the lioness within to strike out against anyone who dare lay a hand on my young, innocent cub but of course, I look into the eyes of another young innocent cub and know that it is part of the laws of nature. Life goes on. I know in this moment that I cannot protect her from everything. That knowledge provides me little comfort. It actually creates bigger fears for all the things that await her that serve to harm her. I know I should not stay in this dwelling place for there is good in the world but this is the part of me that has been so well nurtured by my own worrisome father. What lies waiting. Ugh!!!

Social Skills

One day I hope my DS develops them. Sometimes he can be such a little turd. Today while walking with a neighbor and her 2 young children he kept invading the younger child's space whom he was sharing a wagon with (fix sent. later). He spit his water at the neighbor and then later poured some down her pants. Where does he get this obnoxious behavior. Once at home he proceeds to lose his mind over me not serving him yogurt (which he had slammed on the table causing some to spray out and then spat on). I swear sometimes he is unbelievable. Then he changes a 180 and is so sweet, ugh!!!

Searching for that perfect service time

I want to go to church. I like community. I need community. I want to feel connected with other people. I do think that is part of what life is all about. Connecting with other people. I want my children to feel a sense of community. There are so many opportunities of course there is family, school and then perhaps church. It was GREAT to get us all off to church this morning. The service time seemed to work perfectly for the whole family. Sadly, the service is so geared toward adults and there is no music. It's the music that makes the adult service more palatable for the children so even though the time frame was perfect and the day felt so full there was something missing. It's this SOMETHING that makes me do self-examination and begs me to ask the question WHY do I go to church at all. Oh yeah community.

Organizing my way through

I hope all the organizing I to apply to my life doesn't drive my DS and DD or DH crazy. I try to keep it to myself as much as possible and create this flow of daily life but it doesn't always work that way because I am constantly just a little under-organized so things are less then seamless and ultimately create a mom and wife than can be a little overbearing. Ugh!!!

Cleanliness

“Krishna insisted on outer cleanliness and inner cleansing. Clean clothes and clean minds are an ideal combination.”Sri Sathya Sai Baba quotes (Indian Spiritual leader, b.1926)

Holding Space

Blogging into the night my baby calls

I answer

The Lenten Season begins

How do I go on this journey of lent with my young charges

Living in Potential

Today I realized that for almost my whole life I have not been living up to my full potential.

Happy Valentine's Day

It's been so long since I've posted. It seems after we got back from Louisiana everyone got sick. It just kind of staggered out finally culminating with me (yikes) yes, I got the crud (sp?) Not too bad but I had a painful day and a half. Thank god for Ibuprofen. Well, it's Valentine's Day and once again I feel I've fallen short of my goals for the celebration of this holiday with my ninos and my husband. It feels rushed and thrown together and I have some projects that will have to stay tuned till next year or some time this year depending. I am proud of the piggy banks and I think teaching the value of saving money is a true lesson in love. If it had been taught more clearly and straightforward to me I might be in such a different place right now. It's Valentine's Day and I have had so many moments of sadness because my son loves to hit me and tell me he doesn't like me and I have to remind my husband (often sometimes it seems) of cleaning or parenting tasks thus constantly leaving me seeming like the bad guy AND i've been running around with DD like a sack of potatoes totally overstimulating her and not giving her the thoughtful attention she deserves. She's even begun to yell at me in frustration. I know she needs more of me. This is why sometimes I wish I didn't have to work at all. I wish I could be the domestic diva and the mama/wife role not the business owner, mama/wife, domestic diva it really is too much I can't even think sometimes. So that is why I feel a little said on this day of love. I am working and this card my husband bought lays just below my fingertips but I dare not open it because I didn't make him a card (I try not to buy). I think I still aim at trying to put something down on paper for him. Lord knows I've had a gizzillion thoughts running through my mind some of them good, some of them not so good, some of them loving, some of them not so loving. Today I really truly feel like inventing a new me. Stronger, smarter, kinder and more well rested.

Getting back into Routine

Out of town for three days on the road more than actually in the place where we traveled. Was it worth it? I think so. The children seem okay. I'm having trouble getting back into routine. I did have to deal a little with the consequences of travel. My DS is addicted to the toys that come with a Happy Meal from McDonalds but I guess the upside is that he does not seem to be addicted to the food (yay!!!!). Also DS was exposed to way more television than I care to think about. It's sad really how the television stay on in the homes of so many of my relatives. Can someone please read a book or play a board game? I decided not to fight it as long as the programming wasn't violent or too outrageous but wow, there is a lot of violent and outrageous CRAP on television. I'm glad I am able to tell DS once we're home that NO we will not be going to McDonald's everyday that was SPECIAL and so far he has not asked that the television be turned on. I guess he gets that we don't do that here except for when DH wants to watch football :(.

Wishing I was more crafty and creative. Well, I am creative. I have a ton of ideas in my head but lack the ability or ingenuity to produce many or any of them. This is frustrating as I read post after post of amazingly talented mama bloggers making all sorts of cool things for their children. Ugh! Moments like this make me so sad or insecure about my mothering abilities.

The brain - multitasking

So I've been forgetting to post. I've been writing post in my head periodically during the day and by the time it's evening and I actually have time to get on the computer and write my brain is barely functioning. I have to do a serious mental check-in to remember what I want/was going to do. If I don't write it down i'm usually not going to remember it.

Today I wanted to talk about multitasking. IT IS MY LIFE and I'm mostly good at it. Take tonight as a classic example. It's DS's bathtime: He loves to have some time to play independently before I help with washing so, I set the timer and tonight's multitasking goal: clean the bathroom. (This way I'm none to far away and while he has a blast playing I sweep the floors, behind the toilet and the door, wipe the mirrors, clean the toilet, and mop the floors). I give DS 5 minutes free time before I help with washing and 5 minutes free play after I'm done with washing. If your bathroom is fairly small (as mine is (70's home)) and fairly well kept than 10 minutes is enough to do a good job. THEN, when DS gets out his task is to pick out his underwear, put them on and follow this up with putting on his PJ's. This gives me time to clean out the bathtub and tile (I'm not a fan of ring around the tub. I really like to stay on top of stuff like that). My parents (who are slightly anal (yet loving) neat freaks) taught me well.

I plan to share more multitasking opportunities as they come to light.

I feel like I am just beginning to get myself as a mother now if I could only remember who I am as a wife.

Feeling like a Goddess?

I love those days when I manage to get a lot done and feel like super mama, no super woman. Today was kind of one of those days. I'm totally fatigued as I write this so I am not feeling as pumped as I was around 4:00 p.m. this afternoon. The morning started awesome with my DS playing independently. I closed the door to my room that I currently share with DD. He has for the past few days been coming in and trying to give kisses to DD ultimately waking her up which she is not ready to do (Thank God!) DS has no sense of boundaries or he does and is in a mode of ignoring messages and corrections. He can be so defiant sometimes, it's hard to be pleasant but, I digress, this morning was awesome. DH made breakfast and we ALL ate together (mostly). Sleep was off today but I went on a nice morning outing with DD and DS so that DH could get some progress on a project he is trying to complete this week. This is when I feel like supermama. I often take on both children for a good bit of time but by the weekend I am ready to share a LOT but this weekend/today I felt like I could do it and I did. Now my post feels ridiculous as I write but I'm sure there is a mama out there that can relate?

Where does the time go?

So funny, I thought I posted last night. It goes to show what a busy day it was. I think I kept thinking all day about what I was going to write about. I find blogging, thus far to be very cathartic. I really want to set some time aside each night to jot down high points as well as low points of the day or random thoughts, which I really good at.

Yesterday, I felt both proud and exhausted by the school day. It seems that I constantly working on my little school. We welcomed the final student for the school year and personal, I hope for awhile. I'd like to keep this group intact through the summer as well. I think it's going to be an amazing year. My DS is off at his own school but my DD is with me and she loves it. It makes me realize that I really should find some baby play group on Mondays and/or Fridays for her continued interaction. She simply loves it!

Overwhelmed by bedtime tears

It seems these days I cannot lay DD down for nap or bedtime without intense crying. It is painful to hear and as I decide to approach sleep with more confidence than DS I am having a hard time hearing her cry.

Backstory, I almost never let DS cry if I could help it. I leaned strongly toward attachment parenting and truthfully eventually felt like I was enabling. To this day DS requires parental help to go to sleep. Actually, it's much improved. I thought I would try sleep cues this time and really pay attention to her rhythms and help her develop a sense of routine in her sleep habits. It works for the most part and I believe she is far more rested than DS ever was but it comes at a price of intense tears almost screams some days and I'm not sure what to do. It seems that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't because she'll cry sometimes even if I stay bc she is so tired AND mama needs rest too. I would happily hold her all night or let her nurse all night if I could rest at the same time but, well, you can imagine. I am really at a loss. Thinking a lot about Ferber.

How to avoid raising rude children

Some would say I am easy going when it comes to discipline. In my extended family i think the saying is, "spare the rod, spoil the child." I am a STRONG non-believer in not spanking. I am an even STRONGER believer in speaking to children in a way in which I would want to be spoken. This notion is definitely weird from my extended families perspective. Respect for children is unheard of or not necessary. "They" are of the mind set that the adult is in charge and to a great degree this is true even a necessary idea but balance is the road I am trying to follow. I am learning what this means albeit while struggling at times with a DS who while assert his will and power at every turn. I know he looks to DH and myself for guidance and limits. It can be so hard to stay positive and not just blurt out the old, "Because I said so." Daily it's two steps forward, two steps back.

Under Pressure

I don't want to take M and A to a wedding 416 miles away. Yes, a lot has to do with the expense but it also stresses me out to shift their world so much. Especially when M is beginning to experience stranger anxiety. I am so frustrated.

My babies are home

Soo tired but must say it is good to have my children back on the house.  

Overnight and grandma and grandpa

Schedules and Routines

Evening Yoga

Tonight I longed to be a SAHM (not saying it's easy but my focus is not so wide spread). I so enjoyed my evening with DS and DD. It had it's challenges but it was great spending time playing in the bird room (the name of our play room), eating snack (DS-popcorn, DD-toasted o's), making pizza, yoga to classical music, bathtime, books and bedtime. I wished I could do this daily only disrupted my domestic responsibilities rather than this job that never seems to end. I wish I had the energy to give of myself in the way I did today. It felt so much easier to stay connected.

Sleep and teething

These 2 are so hard. Never sure if I am doing the right thing. Dd is really challenging in these 2 areas. Tooo tired to write tonight.

Taming behavior through diet

I have read so much about this topic, dipped in to many a conversation via my mama online groups. Tonight I finally sat down and did a little research after reading an interesting article about behavior modification diets like (Feingold and Gluten-Free). I have also heart about the benefits of Omega-3. After some contemplation I decided our best route if I am going the dietary route in addition to all the follow-through, consistencies and limit setting we've established that there is more to be done to support our ds and his behavioral challenges that escalate to the point of making him quite unlovable. I am no doctor but my best assessment right now says to go with the Omega-3, DHA supplement. So I went out to the local Whole Foods and bought Omegalicious. I look forward to seeing if there are any behavioral improvements. I will definitely have to document this study.

Starting over?

We're starting a new child in my home school program. I've certainly grown to love our little group as is so I'm not totally excited to be starting over so to speak

Dds' teething, fussiness

Ds' unpredictable but often sweet, creative and "cuddly" demeanor. Ds' baptism anniversary, "This little light of mine."

Less is not always more

Today we had 5 children in community with 2 guides and at moments it was mooooovinnnng kind of sloooooooooooooow. Some people might think this to be a dreamy number but truthfully in the dynamics of our classroom environment and our age group less is not more. I don't aim for an overly full classroom but rather one that bustles with activity and children able to observe each other in action and interact as the opportunity arises. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the slowness of today. I needed it in light of my lack of feeling prepared to start this week but too many of these days and the work could get pretty dare I say borrrring. I am very excited about the new floorplan layout and how the children are receiving it. I like the set aside area for dd she really seems to enjoy being in the mix.

Enjoyed a lovely afternoon of indoor activity with ds. He loved the new materials checked out from the toy library. He's not quite ready for the cash register but has been wanting one since he spent time at a friends house. I'm glad I am able to let him try it out. He REALLY loves the baby with all the feeding tools and high chair. It's great to witness him practicing his caregiving skills.

Ds' BIG thing these days is music. Movement oriented music. If the words give direction on how to move that's even better. I am glad he likes this kind of music. It is fun and also gives my brain a rest. Oh boy does he love to dance.

(My dd has been crying for about 45 minutes and it's wearing me out but it's almost 2 a.m. and I've really got to put an end to these night wakings. Still questioning whether or not this makes me a bad mama. I never let ds cry when he was a baby (well as little as possible and personally it seems to have gotten me know where so I am trying this out and it's SOOOOO HARD).

And we're back...

I had much anxiety about returning to work today since the winter break didn't go as planned. I felt sooo not rsted and so not ready especially for the potential meltdowns brought on by very understandable seperation anxiety. Much to my deliht the only tears were extremely shortlived and the day unfolded joyfully. I had an eqally wonderful afternoon of shopping with ds and dd followed by yoga which I would love to make a part of our daily lives. It was a good day.

Vitamin E anyone?

Research...

Why

Why does he hit? Why does he spit? Why does he refuse to give hugs, say hello or thank you? Why does he make us work so hard for the simplest things? Why, why, why? Because he has a will of iron.

An ending is but a new beginning

We have celebrated Kwanzaa and welcomed the New Year in...It has been great start.