Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day

It's been so long since I've posted. It seems after we got back from Louisiana everyone got sick. It just kind of staggered out finally culminating with me (yikes) yes, I got the crud (sp?) Not too bad but I had a painful day and a half. Thank god for Ibuprofen. Well, it's Valentine's Day and once again I feel I've fallen short of my goals for the celebration of this holiday with my ninos and my husband. It feels rushed and thrown together and I have some projects that will have to stay tuned till next year or some time this year depending. I am proud of the piggy banks and I think teaching the value of saving money is a true lesson in love. If it had been taught more clearly and straightforward to me I might be in such a different place right now. It's Valentine's Day and I have had so many moments of sadness because my son loves to hit me and tell me he doesn't like me and I have to remind my husband (often sometimes it seems) of cleaning or parenting tasks thus constantly leaving me seeming like the bad guy AND i've been running around with DD like a sack of potatoes totally overstimulating her and not giving her the thoughtful attention she deserves. She's even begun to yell at me in frustration. I know she needs more of me. This is why sometimes I wish I didn't have to work at all. I wish I could be the domestic diva and the mama/wife role not the business owner, mama/wife, domestic diva it really is too much I can't even think sometimes. So that is why I feel a little said on this day of love. I am working and this card my husband bought lays just below my fingertips but I dare not open it because I didn't make him a card (I try not to buy). I think I still aim at trying to put something down on paper for him. Lord knows I've had a gizzillion thoughts running through my mind some of them good, some of them not so good, some of them loving, some of them not so loving. Today I really truly feel like inventing a new me. Stronger, smarter, kinder and more well rested.

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