Wishing I was more crafty and creative. Well, I am creative. I have a ton of ideas in my head but lack the ability or ingenuity to produce many or any of them. This is frustrating as I read post after post of amazingly talented mama bloggers making all sorts of cool things for their children. Ugh! Moments like this make me so sad or insecure about my mothering abilities.

The brain - multitasking

So I've been forgetting to post. I've been writing post in my head periodically during the day and by the time it's evening and I actually have time to get on the computer and write my brain is barely functioning. I have to do a serious mental check-in to remember what I want/was going to do. If I don't write it down i'm usually not going to remember it.

Today I wanted to talk about multitasking. IT IS MY LIFE and I'm mostly good at it. Take tonight as a classic example. It's DS's bathtime: He loves to have some time to play independently before I help with washing so, I set the timer and tonight's multitasking goal: clean the bathroom. (This way I'm none to far away and while he has a blast playing I sweep the floors, behind the toilet and the door, wipe the mirrors, clean the toilet, and mop the floors). I give DS 5 minutes free time before I help with washing and 5 minutes free play after I'm done with washing. If your bathroom is fairly small (as mine is (70's home)) and fairly well kept than 10 minutes is enough to do a good job. THEN, when DS gets out his task is to pick out his underwear, put them on and follow this up with putting on his PJ's. This gives me time to clean out the bathtub and tile (I'm not a fan of ring around the tub. I really like to stay on top of stuff like that). My parents (who are slightly anal (yet loving) neat freaks) taught me well.

I plan to share more multitasking opportunities as they come to light.

I feel like I am just beginning to get myself as a mother now if I could only remember who I am as a wife.

Feeling like a Goddess?

I love those days when I manage to get a lot done and feel like super mama, no super woman. Today was kind of one of those days. I'm totally fatigued as I write this so I am not feeling as pumped as I was around 4:00 p.m. this afternoon. The morning started awesome with my DS playing independently. I closed the door to my room that I currently share with DD. He has for the past few days been coming in and trying to give kisses to DD ultimately waking her up which she is not ready to do (Thank God!) DS has no sense of boundaries or he does and is in a mode of ignoring messages and corrections. He can be so defiant sometimes, it's hard to be pleasant but, I digress, this morning was awesome. DH made breakfast and we ALL ate together (mostly). Sleep was off today but I went on a nice morning outing with DD and DS so that DH could get some progress on a project he is trying to complete this week. This is when I feel like supermama. I often take on both children for a good bit of time but by the weekend I am ready to share a LOT but this weekend/today I felt like I could do it and I did. Now my post feels ridiculous as I write but I'm sure there is a mama out there that can relate?

Where does the time go?

So funny, I thought I posted last night. It goes to show what a busy day it was. I think I kept thinking all day about what I was going to write about. I find blogging, thus far to be very cathartic. I really want to set some time aside each night to jot down high points as well as low points of the day or random thoughts, which I really good at.

Yesterday, I felt both proud and exhausted by the school day. It seems that I constantly working on my little school. We welcomed the final student for the school year and personal, I hope for awhile. I'd like to keep this group intact through the summer as well. I think it's going to be an amazing year. My DS is off at his own school but my DD is with me and she loves it. It makes me realize that I really should find some baby play group on Mondays and/or Fridays for her continued interaction. She simply loves it!

Overwhelmed by bedtime tears

It seems these days I cannot lay DD down for nap or bedtime without intense crying. It is painful to hear and as I decide to approach sleep with more confidence than DS I am having a hard time hearing her cry.

Backstory, I almost never let DS cry if I could help it. I leaned strongly toward attachment parenting and truthfully eventually felt like I was enabling. To this day DS requires parental help to go to sleep. Actually, it's much improved. I thought I would try sleep cues this time and really pay attention to her rhythms and help her develop a sense of routine in her sleep habits. It works for the most part and I believe she is far more rested than DS ever was but it comes at a price of intense tears almost screams some days and I'm not sure what to do. It seems that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't because she'll cry sometimes even if I stay bc she is so tired AND mama needs rest too. I would happily hold her all night or let her nurse all night if I could rest at the same time but, well, you can imagine. I am really at a loss. Thinking a lot about Ferber.

How to avoid raising rude children

Some would say I am easy going when it comes to discipline. In my extended family i think the saying is, "spare the rod, spoil the child." I am a STRONG non-believer in not spanking. I am an even STRONGER believer in speaking to children in a way in which I would want to be spoken. This notion is definitely weird from my extended families perspective. Respect for children is unheard of or not necessary. "They" are of the mind set that the adult is in charge and to a great degree this is true even a necessary idea but balance is the road I am trying to follow. I am learning what this means albeit while struggling at times with a DS who while assert his will and power at every turn. I know he looks to DH and myself for guidance and limits. It can be so hard to stay positive and not just blurt out the old, "Because I said so." Daily it's two steps forward, two steps back.

Under Pressure

I don't want to take M and A to a wedding 416 miles away. Yes, a lot has to do with the expense but it also stresses me out to shift their world so much. Especially when M is beginning to experience stranger anxiety. I am so frustrated.

My babies are home

Soo tired but must say it is good to have my children back on the house.  

Overnight and grandma and grandpa

Schedules and Routines

Evening Yoga

Tonight I longed to be a SAHM (not saying it's easy but my focus is not so wide spread). I so enjoyed my evening with DS and DD. It had it's challenges but it was great spending time playing in the bird room (the name of our play room), eating snack (DS-popcorn, DD-toasted o's), making pizza, yoga to classical music, bathtime, books and bedtime. I wished I could do this daily only disrupted my domestic responsibilities rather than this job that never seems to end. I wish I had the energy to give of myself in the way I did today. It felt so much easier to stay connected.

Sleep and teething

These 2 are so hard. Never sure if I am doing the right thing. Dd is really challenging in these 2 areas. Tooo tired to write tonight.

Taming behavior through diet

I have read so much about this topic, dipped in to many a conversation via my mama online groups. Tonight I finally sat down and did a little research after reading an interesting article about behavior modification diets like (Feingold and Gluten-Free). I have also heart about the benefits of Omega-3. After some contemplation I decided our best route if I am going the dietary route in addition to all the follow-through, consistencies and limit setting we've established that there is more to be done to support our ds and his behavioral challenges that escalate to the point of making him quite unlovable. I am no doctor but my best assessment right now says to go with the Omega-3, DHA supplement. So I went out to the local Whole Foods and bought Omegalicious. I look forward to seeing if there are any behavioral improvements. I will definitely have to document this study.

Starting over?

We're starting a new child in my home school program. I've certainly grown to love our little group as is so I'm not totally excited to be starting over so to speak

Dds' teething, fussiness

Ds' unpredictable but often sweet, creative and "cuddly" demeanor. Ds' baptism anniversary, "This little light of mine."

Less is not always more

Today we had 5 children in community with 2 guides and at moments it was mooooovinnnng kind of sloooooooooooooow. Some people might think this to be a dreamy number but truthfully in the dynamics of our classroom environment and our age group less is not more. I don't aim for an overly full classroom but rather one that bustles with activity and children able to observe each other in action and interact as the opportunity arises. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the slowness of today. I needed it in light of my lack of feeling prepared to start this week but too many of these days and the work could get pretty dare I say borrrring. I am very excited about the new floorplan layout and how the children are receiving it. I like the set aside area for dd she really seems to enjoy being in the mix.

Enjoyed a lovely afternoon of indoor activity with ds. He loved the new materials checked out from the toy library. He's not quite ready for the cash register but has been wanting one since he spent time at a friends house. I'm glad I am able to let him try it out. He REALLY loves the baby with all the feeding tools and high chair. It's great to witness him practicing his caregiving skills.

Ds' BIG thing these days is music. Movement oriented music. If the words give direction on how to move that's even better. I am glad he likes this kind of music. It is fun and also gives my brain a rest. Oh boy does he love to dance.

(My dd has been crying for about 45 minutes and it's wearing me out but it's almost 2 a.m. and I've really got to put an end to these night wakings. Still questioning whether or not this makes me a bad mama. I never let ds cry when he was a baby (well as little as possible and personally it seems to have gotten me know where so I am trying this out and it's SOOOOO HARD).

And we're back...

I had much anxiety about returning to work today since the winter break didn't go as planned. I felt sooo not rsted and so not ready especially for the potential meltdowns brought on by very understandable seperation anxiety. Much to my deliht the only tears were extremely shortlived and the day unfolded joyfully. I had an eqally wonderful afternoon of shopping with ds and dd followed by yoga which I would love to make a part of our daily lives. It was a good day.

Vitamin E anyone?

Research...

Why

Why does he hit? Why does he spit? Why does he refuse to give hugs, say hello or thank you? Why does he make us work so hard for the simplest things? Why, why, why? Because he has a will of iron.

An ending is but a new beginning

We have celebrated Kwanzaa and welcomed the New Year in...It has been great start.